The 5 Stages of Crypto Grief
- Taddy Mason
- Mar 5
- 3 min read
Like anything in life, crypto can be a fickle bitch. It can come with the highest of highs when you’re riding a green candle and the lowest of lows when you’re plumetting. Its almost like one day being up for an oscar and the next being raked over the coals for doing black face.
Yeah, crypto’s exactly like that. I’ve been the guy convinced he was gunna pay his house off within the year and i’m also the guy who now holds nothing but dog shit. When Pi coin and OMI are your 2 biggest holdings left you might not be looking so hot. I’ve come to terms with all of this however, and i wanted to share with you the stages i went through to get to the peaceful release that is acceptance.
Denial:
“This can’t be happening to me! Cardano’s gunna help create secured places to hold medical records! Omi is about ta get the contract to do NFTs with the MLB! Stellar lumens are gunna be just like XRP which are gunna change the way the world banks! Theres no way this shit stays in the gutter forever. I also needed a new fucking roof so it made sense ta get out of my postitions.” Thats just some of the thoughts I had as I was looking at my CoinStats account realizing I had sold out of anything worth holding and had an app full of shit on my hands. “I’ll figure it out. I’ll put 100 bucks in a paycheck i’ll get it back. The markets gunna cool it’ll be easy all over again.” Not how it works pal and its definitly not as easy to get back to your positons, but deny deny deny. Its gunna be fine bro.
Anger:
Its in fact not going to be fine bro, and you know it. You fucked up. You have a new roof sure but zero sol and XRP just ran ta 3.50 and u sold at .60 cents. You’re a retarded gay guy now who can’t even afford an Angel Reese special at Mcdonalds (which i assume is just a bucket of chicken but they just never give you it). ZERO BUCKETS FOR YOU. You’ll be kicking yourself in the ass with every text you get about crypto. Sucks ta suck and you hate yourself for it but you’re at least understanding you’re a retarded gay guy. Thats fuckin solid!
Bargaining:
The market runs in cycles it’ll cool off and that’s when you’ll make your move back in the game. And if that doesn’t come to fruition you still have plenty of sick ideas! You can still try to get a loan ta open “Lūʻau Dangs”, the first Hawaiian basketball themed restaurant, or maybe “Cold Stone Steve Austins” (self explanatory). Your an idea man. Who needs crypto you got guts and a notes app full of money making schemes Bernie Madoff would be jealous of. Its all gunna be fine!
Depression:
Nope its still in fact not going to be fine. You start listening to a lot more Brand New and Emo bullshit because you’re so sick to your stomach all the time. Time heals all. Except if that time is spent in a bullrun then it doesn’t heal all. Even though at one time you we’re Scruge Mcducking through XDC, you can always find solice in the fact it’s relatively easy to kill yourself.
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