Trump to Make Investment Announcement Today

Cryptic Post Has X.com Buzzing

What's Big Daddy Trump up to? He announced that at 1:30 PM he's going to be making a "significant" investment announcement. Cryptards are speculating online that it's related to yesterday's post regarding a Strategic Crypto Reserve. While that would make sense, and we fully hope that's the case, here are some other possibilities:

• Trump bought Greenland

  The crazy sonofabitch did it. He went out and bought Greenland. When I first heard Trump make statements about the U.S. buying Greenland I just laughed. Wtf?! Greenland? Why? The more I heard him speak about the possibility though, the more all in got on Greenland becoming part of America. Fuck it. Why not? Pick 'em up!

  
  

  

  
  

• He's Going to Announce a Mineral Deal with Ukraine

  Maybe Zelensky came to his senses. Maybe he came back into Town and gave Big Don a little tug job. A nice old fashioned. A few sorries were said and the result is peace. America gets its hands on the goods, which in theory should pay us back for what we've spent there. End of day this is a net positive result. I strongly doubt this is the case...but you never know with Trump.

  
  

  

• He's Holding Back Any/All Promised Funding and Weapons to Ukraine

  This one seems more like him. Na nanny booboo Zelensky. Eat shit bum. You're gonna disrespect me in the Oval Office, I'm gonna take my ball and go home. Feels like a classic Trump move. He'll even sell us on the fact that it's an "investment" in America somehow. Guy's a legend. We'll check back later and find out if we were right...prob not.